I hate you, but...

I always believed that no one is perfectly good or totally bad, there are scales that we (humans) vary in between, things happen and we change, we are sometimes good and sometimes not good enough. Even on a situation level we vary, things can be seen from different perspectives, each perspective yields to a different judgement. No judgement is correct, and none is wrong. Generally, a judgement is always correct when referred to the perspective from which a situation has been viewed. So what really matters is: how we see or interpret things.

This taught me also to always excuse people because I never know. I never know why they act in a particular way in a particular situation, I never know how they see things or how things impact them, I never know how it makes them feel, even if in situations that seem so clear and trivial and even if I believe that i do share with them their own perspective, I do not, for sure, understand things the way they do.

All what I mentioned above were things I used to believe in, there were some sort of a principle for me maybe. Unfortunately this was not how I reacted at some point in my life.

Sometimes, it happens that we start having totally negative emotions and thoughts towards someone. Of course this will not happen out of no where. But regardless what had happened to make us feel so, the question is no longer about how much do these people deserve the hatred or anger we have towards them for how bad they were to us, the question now is: "Does it worth to feel that way towards anybody in this whole universe?". The answer is definitely no.

There is peace in this life that we need to experience, gratitude and appreciation. Those meanings need pure hearts to contain them. And those meanings are -as i believe- kind of a short cut for us to reach Allaah's satisfaction which requires "قلب سليم"

There may occur a case where "إلا من أتى الله بقلب سليم" is not fulfilled, when there is a negative thing that is emitted form the heart, this negative thing can be unclear for us to know what it is, but we just have wonders: Why to feel bad towards somebody, feel comfortable to forget them and hate remembering them, dislike hearing their name if mentioned by chance in front of us or hate just the idea that we may see them around somewhere?.

And the wonders go on: Weren't those people one day nice to us, taught us something, shared a smile, gave us a hand, made us a prayer, cheered us up, touched our life, treated us with respect, looked once at us high, gave us a gift or made a tiny good memory one day?

Don't these things need gratitude? If not, then at least, we don't deserve to feel bad towards them, it's our call to let go the memories we hate and keep the respect that those people deserve no matter how we feel about them. Because, the things we believe are bad things, were just a red line drawn to mark a stop sign and an end of a relation progress. But this does not imply that the red line was there to strike out the good image that we had before for those people and replace it with another bad ugly evil one!

Well, good people are good, this fact does not change, they do not convert. Respectful people are respectful, this fact does not change, they do not convert. Nice people are nice, this fact does not change, they do not convert. The only thing that happen is, that not all the good ones get along with the other good ones, but this does not make the other good ones bad, they were just not as good (not in the same way), maybe the difference was not understandable, yet the fact does not change.

We do not forget the bad things, yet we can let go because we also do not forget the good things, and we also can let go, leaving both sides of the equation equal and resulting a neutral charge (neither positive nor negative)

And because we know that Allaah is there, and there will come a day when we will stand in front of him to answer some questions, and because our answers are based on our perspective, and because we believe that there were other perspectives than ours that can be correct, and because we don't know which part of the story does Allaah see us, because the last thing that we will ever want is to find that we was the bad one, and because maybe we are guilty in their' part of the story, because all of that, we should not have any hatred towards anybody, ask Allaah for forgiveness, hope that they do not hate us, and simply "Let Go"!

تعالا خد كشكولك...

الوقت... تقريبا كده كان شهر اربعة, لما السنة قربت تخلص ( السنة الدراسية طبعا), المكان.. كان في مدرسة إعدادي, وتحديدا كان في فصل من الفصول
العيال قاعدين زي كل يوم , بيرغوا ويلعبوا ولا هاممهم, أصل المدرسة عندهم مبقيتش مذاكرة وجد واجتهاد.. لااااء, دي بقت لعب ودلع وحاجات تانية

كانت حصة العربي, وكانت المس( المدرسة يعني) مديالهم واجب يعملوه وكانت قاعدة بتصحح الكشاكيل

طبعا أنتم فاهمين الطلاب اليومين دول, نصهم مبيعملش الواجب, والنص التاني بيعمله أي كلام, مش بيهمه قوي إنه يعمله كويس, مبتفرقش معاهم الدرجات والتميز والتفوق والكلام اللي مايأكلش عيش ده, هم يعني يوم مايعملوا الواجب, بيعملوه عشان الأبلة ماتزعقش, عشان مايتسئلوش عنه.. تكبير دماغ يعني مش أكتر

أخينا كان قاعد (زي ماحكينا في بداية الحكاية) وفجأة, المس ندهت اسمه... بس هو استغرب ( أصلها في العادي بتسيب العيال يرغوا في الفصل براحتهم , مش بتخنق على حد)... قامت بصيتله وقالت: "تعالا خد كشكولك"

الغريبة إن ملامح وشها كانت جد جدا, شكلها كده متضايق, والولد حس بمشكلة

من سكات قالها حاضر, بس هو كان جواه خايف.. وهو رايح لها قعد يفكر بينه وبين نفسه: يا ترى هي عايزاني ليه!!, مالها!!.... يانهاري!!.. أكيد هتخانقني على الهامش اللي دايما تقوللي أعمله على يمين الصفحة وانا بطنش عشان بزهق من التسطير.... ياخبر لو هتخانقني إني كتبت بالأحمر في الكشكول مع إنها دايما تقوللنا اكتبوا بالأزرق بس!! يا خراشي لو خدت بالها من بقعة الصلصة اللي وقعت على الكشكول وانا باكل مكرونة عليه امبارح!!!.. ربنا يستر....لأ ده ان شاء الله خير, أكيد هتمدح فيا عشان أنا عملت الواجب كويس ( أو بمعنى أصح, اخويا الكبير عملهولي كويس) خير ان شاء الله خير, أنا مطمن ومش هشيل هم, هي أصلا بتحبني يعني, بس ربنا يستر على التكشيرة اللي في وشها دي!!

اخينا وصل لحد عندها عشان ياخد الكشكول... يا ترى, تفتكروا قالتله إيه؟؟؟

قصتي خلاص خلصت

القصة إننا قاعدين في الدنيا اللي هي أساسا مرحلة "إعدادي" للمكان اللي هنكون فيه في الاخرة.. وناس كتير قاعدين ساهيين ولا على بالهم

القصة إننا بنعمل الفروض اللي ربنا فرضها علينا ( لو عملناها) تأدية واجب, عشان ربنا مايحاسبناش عليها يوم القيامة وخلاص, وقليل اللي بيهتم مش بس إنه يدخل الجنة, لأ كمان يعلى فيها درجات ودرجات ويبقى في فصل المتفوقين

القصة إن كل واحد فينا عارف كويس ذنوبه,عارف الصح من الغلط, عارف هو مقصر في إيه, وإيه الفرض اللي كان بيعمله وسابه أو بطل يعمله, وإيه الحق اللي عليه ومش بيأديه.. عارف كويس قوي إيه الحاجة اللي خايف إن ربنا يسأله عنها يوم القيامة قدام البشر كلهم ومايكونش مجهزلها إجابة

القصة, إن ناس كتير مابتحطش ال"هامش" اللي ربنا قال عليه, وكشاكلهم فيها "خطوط حمراء" كتير, ومليانة "بقع" في كل حتة

القصة إن ناس كتير, رغم إنها عارفة كويس قوي ذنوبها, إلا إنها معتمدة زيادة حبتين على كرم ربنا ورحمته, مش مستوعبين إن ربنا الرحيم هو نفسه ربنا اللي امرنا إننا نعمل ده ونبعد عن ده وقالنا إننا هتحاسب على كل حاجة

القصة, إن طول ما الناس شايفة إنها مش بتتسئل, والنعم حواليها من كل حتة, نسيوا تماما إن هييجي يوم تتسئل عن كشاكلها (أو اجنداتها لو فاكرين حكاية اجندة كل سنة)


القصة, إن ناس كتير قوي فرحانة بحياتها, وفاكرة إن اللي عملته كفاية قوي, مع إنه ممكن يكون مش كفاية, وممكن قوي يكون من غير نية لوجه الله

القصة, إن الناس دي, مش بتهتم بدرجاتها, مش بتهتم بالتقديرات, مع إن في حقيقة غايبة عنهم.. إن الدرجات دي لو ماكفتش, محدش هيعيد السنة

رمضان فرصة عظيمة نستغلها, نعمل الواجب, ونزود حبة, ونجيب تقدير.. ولما اسمنا يتنده قدام بقيت الفصل, ويتقاللنا "تعالا خد كشكولك"... ناخد كشكولنا واحنا مطمنين, عاملين الواجب وزيادة, ومش مكسوفين إن نبينا محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم هيشوفه كمان وهنتسئل قدامه

"حاسبوا أنفسكم قبل أن تحاسبوا"

كل سنة وأنتم طيبين :)

Grey's Anatomy..

Ok, i think the title is clear enough, i'm talking about "Grey' Anatomy" series.

Of course I wont tell you the story, most of you -if not all- have been watching it. But i'll be telling you the story of me with Grey's Anatomy.

The first episodes i started watching - I dont remember which season, most probably 3- were when George O’Malley proposed to Callie, and Burke proposed to Cristina, and that was the start.

What i liked about Grey's Anatomy was how these Drs work hard for the patients, and the different stories that i really used to sympathize with, the complicated combination of emotions that the heroes had, and the nice quotes and lessons learnt that Meredith used to end each episode with.

When the next season started, with that horrible Dr that Callie became friends with, and the stupid strange "interests" they started to have together in addition to her adventures with Sloan.
I started to feel that this is not really good, why am i watching it!!, I'm not learning from the moral situations anymore, i'm not enjoying it. Not only Callie’s stupid part made me hate it, but the rest of the characters' stories were getting boring and i felt that they all had physiological problems that they were not be having if they Only were Muslims!

Before this bad feeling towards "Grey's Anatomy" reached the peek, i was in a lovely gathering with a beautiful group of girls who named them selves "The Green Muslims" and regularly had religious spiritual meetings that i really adore.

This particular gathering was to meet with a convert, "Raya" who was telling us her story with Islam and how great this religion is.
One of the phrases that she said that deeply touched my heart was: "You have to know, that if you want to get close to Allaah, Allah will test you, and he'll test you hard!".. being close to Allaah is not only a wish...

She also said: "your day is already divided between eating, sleeping, working, praying, watching TV, chatting online, etc.... and you want to add to the day a program to get closer to Allah by reading Quraan, praying more or doing more good deeds, but you do not think of quitting any of the activities in the life style that you are accustomed to. Simply, your day wont be enough, your 24 hours are already consumed by the things you already do.. if you want to add some thing to be closer to Allaah, you have to free some space in your day for that. And freeing space means quitting one or more of the things you are doing.. each of you can have a look right now on how your day is spent, and see and decide which part you will leave or free for Allaah"

Ok, now what!!, is this why whenever i want to be better i always screw up?, because "implicitly" i'm telling Allaah "I have no time for you" -asta3'firu Allaah-.. i decided instantly to quit something i do in my day, to free a space and most importantly to purify my heart...

I thought about my day while she was talking and said to my self: "I'll quit watching Grey's Anatomy".. then i raised my hand, and said it loudly in front of every body, i raised my hand and said: "I'll quit watching Grey's Anatomy".

All this story was to tell you that Al7amdulillaaaah, since i stopped watching it, i had a great and awesome chance to join a Quran class that i didnt plan to, I'm learning Tajweed nowadays.. i can not describe how great this Quraan is, how relieved i feel now.. I love it.

I learnt something from this experience, that you can picture your self as a ring carried on a robe, one end is the Qur2aan and the other is songs and what we call "fann".. the closer you are to Quraan makes you definitely -without any effort- away from songs and other meaningless stuff and vise versa... You feel higher than what all other people are busy with, you think like "how silly" these songs or TV shows are, regardless seeing them Halal or Haram, you just see them useless.

This is something that I've experienced my self and learnt, and i really wish you all to feel how sweet the Quraan is, and how lovely it feels reading it, and how great you are when you are closer, closer and closer.

Free a space (Ramadan is a chance, take it, and stick to it even after Ramadan)

Koll sana wento tayyebeen :) :)

...اجندة كل سنة

السنة دي بقى قرر ميعملش زي كل مرة, أصله كل سنة بيعمل إيه؟, قبل السنة ماتخلص, بيشتري اجندة جديدة بتاعت السنة الجديدة, ويقول في نفسه, لأ السنة دي إن شاء الله مش هكسل.. أصله بيحب يكتب مذكرات, وكل سنة بيقول في عقل باله, أنا نفسي أجيب اجندة, أدون في كل صفحة بتاعت اليوم الحاجات اللي بتحصل في اليوم ده, عشان اعمل أكبر مجموعة ذكريات ومانساش أي حاجة اتعلمتها في أي يوم من حياتي

المهم إنه كل سنة يشتري الاجندة الجديدة, و تن تن تااااااااااااااان, مبيكتبش أي حاجة,

يمكن لو كان بيكتب مذاكرته واحداث كل يوم بيومه, يمكن ماكانش غلط كتير, كان اتعلم من الحاجات اللي كتبها, وكان فرح بإحساسه إنه لما يحب يفتكر أي حاجة حلوة, هيلاقيها أكيد في الاجندة بتاعته.. اجندة السنة

للأسف, كل الاجندات الفاضية بتاعت السنين اللي فاتت كانت بتضيع منه, ومبيعرفش يجيبها تاني, ماتفهمش عفريت بيخفيها ولا إيه!!... المهم انه مش بيعرف يجيبها تاني ,بالتالي مبيقدرش لا يجملها ولا يزينها أو حتى يمسح اللي فيها بالمرة عشان يستخدمها للسنة الجاية مادام هي كده كده ماتكتبش فيها حاجة تقريبا, مبيقدرش عشان هي بمنتهى البساطة: بح

السنة دي بقى غير كل سنة, هو قرر فعلا ومش هزار, ومتحمس آخر تلات أرْبع حاجات.. هيجيب اجندة جديدة, اجندة شكلها حلو عشان يحبها, وهيحرص قوي على إيه اللي هيكتبه فيها, عايزها تبقى كلها حاجات مبهجة, حاجات لو في يوم كان مخنوق, وفتح الاجندة, يقرا اللي فيها وهو سعيد بالكلام اللي كان كاتبه زمان وكان تقريبا ناسيه والاجندة هي اللي فكرته.. هيحرص إن حياته فعلا تتغير السنة دي.. هيحرص إن الاجندة دي تبقى محور حياته واهتمامه.. لانه زي ماقلتلكو, هو أصلا بيحبب الكتابة, غير كده, صاحبنا بيفكر لبعييد, بيفكر في ولاده اللي لسة لحد دلوقتي في علم الغيب, بيتخيل لو الاجندة دي وقعت في ايد حد فيهم, فعايز إن كل كلمة فيها تكون حاجة تشرف وتفرح, مايكونش فيها أي حاجة يخجل إن اولاده يشوفوها... وعشان هو هيكتب في الاجندة دي الحاجات اللي بتحصل في يومه, فـهو قرر إنه مش هيعمل في يومه غير الحاجات اللي تفرح أو تشرف وترفع راسه لما أجندته في يوم من الايام تتقري

بس خلاص

اضيف لمعلومات سيادتكم الآتي:

1) الليلة دي أول ليلة في السنة الجديدة :)

2)اجندة السنة اللي فاتت طلعت عند ربنا خلاص ( أصل كل سنة, في ليلة النصف من شعبان, الاعمال بتاعت السنة بتعرض على الله)

3)الاجندة بتتوزع مجانا كل سنة زي الليلة دي, كل واحد فيكم عنده 2 كمان مش واحدة, ( لو بصيت على كتافك, هتلاقي واحدة على اليمين والتانية على الشمال, واللي على اليمين هي اللي تهمنا)

4)ميزة الاجندة دي حاجة حلوة قوي, إن طول ماهية على كتفك, أو حتى لو طلعت عند ربنا, تقدر تمسح الحاجات الوحشة اللي فيها, صدقة بقى واستغفار وصيام عرفة والحركات دي, مش زي ماكان صاحبنا فاهم :)

5) اللي فيكم لسة عارف دلوقتي موضوع الاجندة ده, حتى لو بعد ماتوزعت بكام يوم, مش مشكلة, يقدر يقطع أول كام صفحة ويبتدي من أول ماعرف.. أصل الاستغفار والتوبة دول ليهم العجب

6) اللي هيشوف الاجندات بتوعك مش بس عيالك, دي البشرية كلها, العالمين يعني, وفي يوم مش هتكون عايز غير فعلا إنك تشوف في الاجندة حاجة تفرح أو تشرف أو ترفع راسك لفوق

خلي ربنا راضي عنك, وابدا سنة جديدة في حياتك, باجندة جميلة تحب تشوفها يوم القيامة, وكفاية قوي الكلام اللي اتكتب في الاجندات القديمة.. واللي إنت فعلا خايف إن البشرية كلها تعرفه يوم القيامة..

ليلة النصف من شعبان, سنة جديدة, اجندة جديدة..

وكل اجندة وأنتم طيبين :)

عايز 4 جنيه فكة

كل يوم بيرجع من نفس المشوار بتاكسي ودايما بيدفع للتاكسي 4 جنيه, هو يادوبك كده على مشوار زي ده.. ودايما بيعمل حسابه إنه يكون معاه 4 جنيه فكة عشان التاكسي مايرفضش يرجعله الباقي.

بس أحيانا بيبقى معاه 5 جنيه, مابيهتميش إنه يفكها, أصله مرات الطريق بيبقى زحمة, فـمش مشكلة يعني لما يدفع 5

في مرة كان معاه 10 جنيه, طبعا خاف إن التاكسي ياخد 6 ولا 7 جنيه, فـكان لازم يفكك الفلوس. طبعا أنتم عارفين البياعين في مصر, لو قلتله معاك فكة؟يقولك لأ واللهِ.. طبعا معاه وبيحلف كدب, المهم, كان بيفكر إنه لازم يشتري حاجة بالعشرة جنيه عشان يفكها

قعد يفكر يا ترى أجيب إيه؟.. أصله بالمرة بقى, مادام هيشتري يبقى يجيب حاجة عايزها, ميجبش مثلا بسكويت شمعدان اللي مش بيحبوا عشان يبقى معاه فكة يعني!!

صاحبنا لاقى إن اقل حاجة هيجيبها هتبقى بجنيه ونص.. بس كده الراجل هيرجعله 8.5, وممكن تبقى الخمسة مجمدة ويفضل معاه 3.5 ومايكفوش حق التاكسي.. ومش أكيد إن البياع يرجعله 5 جنيه فكة يعني.. اصلهم بيحبوا الفكة.. قام فَكر إنه يجيب حاجة بستة جنيه, أهو كده اضمن.. يجيب اللي عايزه وفنفس الوقت يضمن إن اللي هيرجعله 4 جنيه حق التاكسي اللي هو أصلا عايزه

صاحبنا راح اشترى الحاجة, كان معاه 10 جنيه, وكان هدفه إنه يبقى معاه 4 جنيه فكة.. اخينا صرف 6 جنيه بحالهم عشان يبقى معاه 4 جنيه بس, اللي هم كانوا معاه اصلا بس مش بصورة مباشرة, مش فكة يعني..

وجاب حاجات هايفة طبعا, أصله يعني هيجيب إيه من كشك في الشارع.. اكيد حاجة ساقعة وشوكولاتة, أو أي عك هو أصلا ماكانش عايزه..

بس خلاص, هي دي القصة..

العشرة جنيه هما الحاجات اللي عندنا, وال 4 جنيه هي الحاجات اللي مش عندنا وعايزينها وفاهمين انها هتفرحنا.. مشوار التاكسي بتاع كل يوم ده هو الحياة بتاعتنا اللي عايشينها وعايزين نبقى مبصوتين فيها.. سواق التاكسي هو الحاجات اللي بنخاف تحصل في حياتنا وتعكر فرحتنا.. والكشك هو التلاهي اللي في الحياة اللي ممكن تفرحنا بس بتبعدنا عن هدفنا وتضيع وقتنا...

القصة إن ربنا مدينا نعم كتير, أكتر من اللي محتاجينه, بس احنا مش مقدرين قيمتهم, بنبص دايما على اللي مش عندنا, حتى لو كان عندنا, بننسى إنها موجودة, ونفضل ندور على اللي شايفين إنه مش معانا.. دايما فاهمين إن السعادة في الحاجة اللي خسرناها أو مش فايدينا دلوقتي, مابناخدش بالنا إن اللي معانا يسوى أكتر بكتير من اللي فاكرين إنه هيفرحنا.. بنضحي باللي في ايدينا مها كانت قيمته عشان اللي مش فايدينا مهما كانت هيافته.. بمعنى آخر, بنستهبل.. وبعد مانسيب اللي معانا بنندم على إننا اتغيرنا, ونستغرب احنا ليه مابقيناش زي الأول وهو ا اللي بيحصلنا ده!..

هو اللي حصل ولا حاجة, غير إن كان معانا 10 جنيه وفكناهم, عشان يبقى معانا 4 جنيه

Al7amdulillaaah, blessed :)

Dear Zainab,


Yesterday i was holding a paper and pen and I was thinking: yaah, for a long time i didn't have that feeling that Allaah is "bykremny", the deep gratitude that Allaah has done very special thing specially for me and only me, the feeling that i say "yaaaaaaaaaah" and feel deeply blessed and rush to make sajdet shukr.. i was thinking of this and missing this feeling a lot.. i wrote down: "I miss Al..." and was about to write "i miss Allaah", i paused for a second and thought: No Allaah is always there for me, Allaah is there, it's not that i miss Allaah, it's that i miss Karam Allaaah, i miss "Al Kareem", and that how i wrote it "i miss Al Kareem".. and sighed: ya rabb ekremny :)

4 hours later, i went to the Qur2an lesson with a dear friend from work, in the class i have a teacher that i don't like her way of teaching much, but i used to say: no problem, i'll bare that for the sake of Allaah, anyway, all i want is to learn!.

Now, back to the point, when i went to the lesson the teacher told us (my fiend and me) you have been moved to another class, we said ok and went.

I can't tell you how great the other teacher is, she is really awesome, she "knows" what she says, i really felt a student with her although she looks young.. i was so happy to join her class.. al7amdulillaaah :)

Then in the lecture, the lecturer was talking about the intentions, that they should be purely for Allaah when attending the Qur2an lessons, she mentioned that she was once revising Qur2an (masha2Allaah she memorizes it all) and reciting Qur2aan with a teacher who memorizes only 5 chapters of Qur2an, and she was feeling bad about it, how can someone memorizing the whole qur2an have a teacher memorzing only 5 chapters!, she mentioned that to her Shaikh -Sh. Mahmoud Al Tablawy- and he said: لو اخلصتي النية لله لجعلها الله لك جبريلا يُقرؤك القرآن... she commented and said:that was true, be sure that if your intention is scincere for the sake of Allaah, he will bless you and teach you. At that moment i remembered when you told me: "واتقوا الله ويعلمكم الله".



And that's how my teacher changed :), Allaah did bless me al7amdulillaa :), i'm very pleased about it and feel blessed, i felt this is "Karam" from Allaah "Alkareem" whom i asked for his karam earlier that day.. indeed: إن ربي لسميع الدعاء :)



You know, everytime i go to the lesson i remember you, i pray for you, and wish you share me thawaab, you encourged me, i always remember your words.. I love you :)



Al7amduluillaah :)

فاستهدوني أهدكم

Assalamu 3alikom,


We hear a lot that when we see some ine in ma3seya, instead of commenting on them or blaming them for doing it, we are supposed to ask for Hidaya for them..

I remember a girl in my college, 3 classes younger, whom whenever i saw i was wondering how she acted like that, how she dressed and how she treated boys.. Once i criticized that so a friend of mine said: Pray for her, ask Allaah to bless her with Hidaya. And i did.

Another girl, i remember i saw her once in the garden chatting with a boy in an unsuitable way, i was about to go and tell them that what they are doing isn't right, but i preferred to stay out of it and also prayed for her.

What i didn't know that these two girls were friends, I knew that when i saw them 2 weeks ago together.

What this whole post about is the place where i saw those girls, i saw them in a Qur2an Center, they were there learning Qur2an and memorizing it.. I was really happy to see them, and also surprised.

I'm not saying at all that they were there because of my du3aa2, of course not, but I really hoped that moment that i have even the tiniest thawaab in this, i tried hard to remember if i was sincere in my prayer or not, Allaahu a3laam, but i really learnt that no matter what, when you pray for someone for hidaya, you have to be sure, very sure, that Allaaah will change those people, don’t just pray hopelessly doubting that these people may one day be good.. this is a great sin as i believe

Sub7ana Allaah, I learnt to always pray for those whom I see in ma3siyaa, with "yaqeen", unlike as i used to do before, praying for them as if: "ya7aaraam.. yallaa.. ahoh.. rabbena yehdeehom!"...

Allaah said: "كذلك كنتم من قبل فمن الله عليكم " and this most of the time is true, even if you were never in the state you saw and this verse do not apply, remember that it is a bless that you have never been like that, and "فمن الله عليكم" part is valid all the time.

I pray that Allaah forgives me for doubting people when asking for Hidaya for them, after all even if you doubt people, we trust Allaaah, and we know that the phrase "فاستهدوني أهدكم" is unconditional and assured.

al7amdulillaah, glad for the two girls, and i wish i took any 7asanaa for that prayer that i once said, and from now on, i will pray with the intention that I gain Hasanaat when Allaah bless a person -whom i sincerely prayed for- with Hidaya

و لا نزكي على الله أحدا

27/3/2009

Dear Zainab :) :)


awwalan i miss u so much, tawwelty el 3'eeba.. i hope u are blessed with Allah's mercy upon u, and can see ur plance in jannah by now..

I called M Magdy yesterday ya zeezi.. i asked about him, and his voice was soo sad..he just keeps saying al7amdulillaah ad asking Allaah for his mercy upon u :)


I told him: No doubt that she had a great thawaab after all the pain she had.. He said: Na7sabuha 3ala 5ayr wala nozakky 3ala Allaahi a7adaa


I was surprized with the reply actually.. for god sake, you are his wife, he knows very well how much you suffered with your illness and how great you were..

bgd sub7ana Allaaah, i learnt somthing in that call, something deep
and ya zeezi i hope you are in paradise now, a7sabuki 3ala 5ayr wala ozakki 3ala Allaahi a7adan

Amen :)

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيم

ِبِسْمِ اللَّهِ الَّذِي لَا أَرْجُو إِلَّا فَضْلَهُ ، وَ لَا أَخْشَى إِلَّا عَدْلَهُ ، وَ لَا أَعْتَمِدُ إِلَّا قَوْلَهُ ، وَ لَا أَتَمَسَّكُ إِلَّا بِحَبْلِهِ ، بِكَ أَسْتَجِيرُ يَا ذَا الْعَفْوِ وَ الرِّضْوَانِ مِنَ الظُّلْمِ وَ الْعُدْوَانِ ، وَ مِنْ غِيَرِ الزَّمَانِ ، وَ تَوَاتُرِ الْأَحْزَانِ ، وَ طَوَارِقِ الْحَدَثَانِ ، وَ مِنِ انْقِضَاءِ الْمُدَّةِ قَبْلَ التَّأَهُّبِ وَ الْعُدَّةِ ، وَ إِيَّاكَ أَسْتَرْشِدُ لِمَا فِيهِ الصَّلَاحُ وَ الْإِصْلَاحُ ، وَ بِكَ أَسْتَعِينُ فِيمَا يَقْتَرِنُ بِهِ النَّجَاحُ وَ الْإِنْجَاحُ ، وَ إِيَّاكَ أَرْغَبُ فِي لِبَاسِ الْعَافِيَةِ وَ تَمَامِهَا ، وَ شُمُولِ السَّلَامَةِ وَ دَوَامِهَا ، وَ أَعُوذُ بِكَ يَا رَبِّ مِنْ هَمَزاتِ الشَّياطِينِ ، وَ أَحْتَرِزُ بِسُلْطَانِكَ مِنْ جَوْرِ السَّلَاطِينِ ، فَتَقَبَّلْ مَا كَانَ مِنْ صَلَاتِي وَ صَوْمِي ، وَ اجْعَلْ غَدِي وَ مَا بَعْدَهُ أَفْضَلَ مِنْ سَاعَتِي وَ يَوْمِي ، وَ أَعِزَّنِي فِي عَشِيرَتِي وَ قَوْمِي ، وَ احْفَظْنِي فِي يَقَظَتِي وَ نَوْمِي ، فَأَنْتَ اللَّهُ خَيْرٌ حَافِظاً ، وَ أَنْتَ أَرْحَمُ الرَّاحِمِينَ .اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَبْرَأُ إِلَيْكَ فِي يَوْمِي هَذَا وَ مَا بَعْدَهُ مِنَ الْآحَادِ ، مِنَ الشِّرْكِ وَ الْإِلْحَادِ ، وَ أُخْلِصُ لَكَ دُعَائِي تَعَرُّضاً لِلْإِجَابَةِ ، وَ أَقْهَرُ نَفْسِي عَلَى طَاعَتِكَ رَجَاءً لِلْإِثَابَةِ ، فَصَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَ آلِهِ خَيْرِ خَلْقِكَ ، الدَّاعِي إِلَى حَقِّكَ ، وَ أَعِزَّنِي بِعِزِّكَ الَّذِي لَا يُضَامُ ، وَ احْفَظْنِي بِعَيْنِكَ الَّتِي لَا تَنَامُ ، وَ اخْتِمْ بِالِانْقِطَاعِ إِلَيْكَ أَمْرِي ، وَ بِالْمَغْفِرَةِ عُمُرِي ، إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

This Du3aa2 was said by Al Imam Zain Al Abideen, very nice and very touching :) Allahumma istajib.. Allahumma ameen :)

I'm Longing :)

Dear,

I'm so happy to know that you are coming soon :), i was really waiting for the day you come and very glad that it is getting closer :)

I still remember the days when you were here, how great those days were, i was always wondering if they will come back, if I'll ever get the chance to meet with you again, if i will live till the next visit, I always keep praying to, I always as Allaah to bless me by you, because i really love it when you are around..
It was really hard for me when you left, the hardest part that I never know if i will meet you gain or not.. you are so dear that i want you always to be here, but Al7amdulillaah for every thing... I always hope you come back :)

Last time you were here was one of my best days, I remember the prayers I said, the diaries I wrote, the feelings I had.. I remember how strongly you touched my heart and how you -every time- change me deeply from the inside.

You always help me reconsider, you always remind me how great I can be, and how great I am, you always remind me of Allaah, of the love i have for him in my heart, I always learn a lot from you.. you are bless, indeed.

You always give me hope, you fill my heart with love, you change my perspective towards things.. You always make me closer to Allaah, you teach how to love Qur'an, read it and feel it. My days are always bright when you are here :)

I Love you, and i miss being my self when you are around.. everything becomes very different, really different :)

I know I always keep promising that when you come I'll do this and I'll do that, I'll stop this and stop that and try to be a good girl, yet every time I don’t fulfill my promises, and I feel bad about it.. I'm really sorry for that.. Hopefully this time I become the good girl i was always promising to be!

I love the things you bring for me.. Well, to be honest, I wait for them as much as i wait for you.. you always bring what I wish.. I find it easier to ask for things when you are here, because I’m sure that Allaah will give me, for your sake :)

Most of all, I love the 3 gifts you always bring every time you come: Mercy, Forgiveness and Salvation from Hell.. I really pray i get them this time :)

Dear Ramadan, I wish i live till you come :) and I wish you find me as you deserve to find me :)
I'll be waiting..

Allahumma balle3'na Ramadaan

When you lose someone close to your heart...

Assalamu 3alikom,

It's a hard feeling, and you don't to actually know how you are supposed to feel.

You miss them, sad that they are not there when you most need them to be, you may want to feel angry that they left, you feel helpless that you can't talk to them, you can't pick the phone to say that you miss them, you just can't... you can't go to the places that you used to go to meet with them; bcz simply, they wont show up! you may go alone, and start remembering the feelings that you had when they where there next to you, the conversations that you had, the smiles on your faces, you remember and remember, you wait for them to show up, then you look around to realize that they are not there, they are only in your own memory.. then you raise your head, stare at the sky with eyes full of tears.

You are then sure that they are dead, because you are sure that if they were alive they wont disappear just like that without even a goodbye, they wont let go of you, they know they would be hurting you if they did, and you know they will never ever do it purposely, and this is the moment when you are 100% sure that they will never come back... they are now part of the past, they "were", they are dead!

Then you want to make it easy on your self, you remind your self that they didn't leave by their own will, they did not walk away, they didn't abandon you, they'd just disappeared from your life all of a sudden, but this kills you!

Then you find that they had left that good memory inside you.. you are not able to hate them, even if it had happened one day that they caused you harm or even hurted your feelings, you can't help forgetting all the bad memories and remembering the good ones, you can't blame them for they had gone, you die to know why they'd left but you can never ask..And there, deep inside your heart, you can't stop loving them, and you miss them so much, you miss them deeply and sometimes you just keep thinking and thinking about them to the extent that puts you in a very bad need to just hear their voice.

Then you tell your self that it was not their will to leave, it's Allah's will, .. and then you remember to thank Allaah for what he chose, cz you know that whatever Allaah chooses, it is the good thing, but you still have that pain in the heart...

Then you decide not to thank Allaah sadly, you want to be satisfied, you decide to smile, you decide to thank Allaah for putting those people in your life, for letting you have such peaceful and sweet memories, thank him because he tought you through them a lot, thank him because you love him and love them, thank him because you never know this is good for you, thank him because you trust that he is doing you a favour, thank him because whenever you feel that pain in the heart, and whenever you strongly miss them, you only say one word: "Yaaa rabb"

Then you are happy with the memories you'd shared with them and want to keep remembering them forever, you want to remember their face perfectly, you want not to forget them, you want to remember every word, every move and every action. You are afraid, truly afraid, that you may forget them oneday!

When those people left, you were told that they died, so you keep reminding your self with this fact all the time, you keep telling your self: "They died, they died, they died, they died...."

Then you start telling yourself that this is not the end, and will never be! you start having that hope that you will meet them isAllaah in heaven, hoping that they are happy and deeply wish them to be with Allaaah, in the maqaam of Al sali7een Al mottaqeen, and having all kind of blesses that they kept telling you before leave that they were dreaming of, you wish them what they wished for themselves, you smile when you imagine them smiling there in the heaven, and sitting with their beloved, sayyedna Muhammad salla Allaahu 3alihi wasallaam and seeing the face Allaah sub7anahu wata3alaa with the ultimate satisfaction that they could ever dream of!

Then you have nothing to do for them except praying, because you want the image that you are having now for them to come true. You ask Allaaah to take care for them, love them and have mercy on them and wish them to be in the companionship of sayyedna Muhammad -salla Allahu 3alihi wasallam-.

And you pause, thinking, do they remember me?! do they pray for me?! do they miss me as much as i do?!, do they want me to be with them?!.. and because you don't have answers for all those questions, you start praying that they do, and you start and having a great hope that you see them and be there with them in the heaven isAllaaah...

Forgive Me When I Whine

Assalamu 3alikom


The story i'm about to tell now may seem silly, actually very silly :D, but that day i was so happy and sajadtt shokr cz i deeply felt that Allaah is with me :)

Last wednesday, at work, early morning, my TL told me online: "Noha, Amr is on a vacation today, please come and sit in his place".

Amr is a collegue of mine and his partition is next to my TL's, she wanted us to sit next to her to "facilitate the communication" as she said. That is because i'm sitting really far from her, our floor is like a rectangle -like any floor on earth :D- i sit in the right side and she is on the left one, so it really takes time to go to her.

However, i dislike sitting there, i dont feel comfortable at all at that side, so i decided to tell her that i wont go :D (this shows how i've really changed :D, when I first started work, i was VERY obedient (A))

We argued online, then i went to her, and she kept insisting that i sit there and i kept insisting that i dont want to!

Normally, in such situations, I HAVE to do what she says, but my problem was (in addition to that i dont feel comfortable there) that another team member was sitting away, and there is only one place available "temporarily", so even if i move, another team member will still be sitting away, so we are not actually solving the "communication problem".
I told her both reasons!! But she kept insisting and i kept refusing for some time!!!

I forgot to tell you that she didnt ask the other team member cz she is afraid of her and both dislike each other (ma2edritsh 3ala 7omaar 2edret 3ala el barda3a!! and this also irritated me very much)

The conversation ended that she will talk to our manager to solve the issue. Yes, that was a threat! but i would say the same thing to the manager if she asked me to move.

I was strict and calm while talking to her, but once i left her i went to the other team member who sits away and started crying, i really hated how she insisted and that she didn't respect how i feel about moving and wanted to force me to move!

In less than 30 mins, one of the company emplyees who is responsible of the place and partitions and stuff like that, came to us and said: "We have changes in places because we will need to do some fixes in other floors, so we want to re-allocate you all, all the teasting team will sit in one side, to leave the other side for the support team who will come form the 5th floor!"..

No need to tell you that the side that the testing team will move to, was the one i'm sitting in :D, so now, I will not move and the TL is the one who will move to come to my side "the testing side" according to managerial commands!!

I Felt like WOW :D (I feel WOW alot, i know :D) bgd sub7ana Allaaaaaaaaaah, it's not only that i wont move my place, it's that All the testing team should stay at that part of the floor, and she will come!! WOW...

My mate told me: "wa yamkoroona wa yamkuru Allaah" :D!! enty feeki shee2 lillaaah, enty el wa7ed y5aaf yday2ik :D
And i made sajdet shokr and my mate was luaghing out load of what had happened :D
I didnt feel happy, cz i felt that if i was happy i will be like (bashmaat feehaa) but bgd, i deeply felt gratitude, that Allaah was there next to me, in this very trivial issue, that is not critical by any how.

Al7amdulillaah bgd :).. i learnt from this situation to trust Allaah more, I felt Ma3eyyat Allaah, i felt that Allaah 3aazza wajall is telling me: See, i manage your life very well. See how i managed your place and made a whole floor need some fixes just not to let you move forced from your place, imagine what can be what i'm doing now for you manage your life!!

Adrakt 3azamet rabbena aktaar at that moment, and felt smaaaaall, veryy smaaall.. bsara7aa keda, esta7eeet mn rabbena, esta7eet that I sometimes complain, sometimes i feel bad about things that happen to me (knowing that what happens to you is how Allaaah manages your life!), i felt like I wanted to apologize to Allaah and say i'm sorry,

Oh Allaah, oh Allaah, forgive me when i whine :)

فأدِمْ ربي عكوفي

قد كفاني عِلمُ ربي ~ من سؤالي واختياري
فــــدعائي وابتهالي ~ شاهدٌ لي بافتقاري
فلهذا الســــر أدعو ~ في يساري وعساري
أنا عبدٌ صـــار فخري ~ ضمنَ فقري واضطراري
قـد كفاني علمُ ربي ~ من سؤالي واختياري

يا إلهي ومليكي ~ أنت تعلم كـــيف حالي
وبما قد حـــــل قلبي ~ من همومٍ واشتغالِ
فــتداركني بلطفٍ ~ منك يا مولى الموالي
ياكريمَ الوجه غثني ~ قبل أن يفنى اصطباري
قـد كفاني علم ربي ~ من سؤالي واختياري

يا سريعَ الغوث غوثـًا ~ منك يدركني سريعا
يهزم العســرَ ويأتي ~ بالذي أرجو جميعا
يا قريبًا يا مجيبًا ~ يا عليمًا يا سميعا
قد تحققتُ بعجزي ~ وخضوعي وانكســـاري
قد كفاني علم ربي ~ من سؤالي واختياري

لم أزل بالباب واقف ~ فارحمَنْ ربي وقوفي
وبوادي الفـــضل عاكف ~ فأدِمْ ربي عكوفي
ولحســــن الظن ألازم ~ فهو خلـّي وحليفي
وأنيســــــي وجليسي ~ طول ليلي ونهاري
قد كـفاني علم ربي ~ من سؤالي واختياري

حاجةً في النفس يا رب ~ فاقضها يا خير قاضي
وأرح ســـــري وقلبي ~ من لظاها والشواظ
في ســـــــرورٍ وحُبورٍ ~ وإذا ما كنتَ راضي
فالهـَنا والبســـطُ حالي ~ وشعاري ودثاري
قد كفاني علم ربي ~ من ســـؤالي واختياري

Swine Flu

Assalamu 3alikom,

Tab3an el maktoob embayyan mn 3enwanoo (3ala ra2y el Lebnaneyyeen), but i don't want to talk about the issue from the aspects that every body does nowadays, i have another point that i want to share :)

I have a very strong feeling, intiuition, "yaqeen" fillaah shadeed, and a big "trust" in Allaah that the virus wont reach Egypt nor the Gulf area. I'm almost sure about it, and i "know" that isAllaah, we wont have it in Egypt isAllaah.

Usually, i don't have reasons for my intuitions, so I can't tell you why, but here is something i believe: if a "Muslim" dies because of the "Swine" flu, this will be a very "himulating" way to die (as a firend of mine said), ya3ny we don't eat them in order to obey Allah, will he make us catch their flu!!! I believe that Allaah is greater to let us die that why...

Anyway, what i'm saying has nothing to do with reality, we just may wake up next morning hearing that an Egyptian person cought swine flu, it may happen, but i just don't feel it :)

Anyway bardo :), i think we are taking our precautions, and most importantly praying to Allaah to protect us from the disease, and that is enough for now as i think :)

Overloaded?!

Assalamu 3alikom,

It happens a lot that we complain that we are "overloaded", we say it when we have a lot to do in a very short time, that we are not able to manage where to start, what to do, how to get things done and meet all the deadlines, do things quickly and well, etc...

Overloaded?.. Isn't it the state when we you have some thing huge to handle -only one thing- and you are not able to manage? You see it too big for you, or you are too small for it, a responsibility that you are too young to carry, alone and need a shoulder to lean on. When you feel like: "it is too heavy, i can't.. I can't, it's heavy.. I just can't".

You are not wise enough to think, aware enough to decide, strong enough to face it, big enough to take it.. But, ooopss, it's already there on your shoulders, it may break you, or you can decide to take it, it hurts, but you "have to", simply because Allaah choose you to handle it, and only Allaah knows that you are the right person for it.

So, you ask Allaah for the wisdom, strength, patience, and most importantly, you ask Allaah for help, because you don't want to break!

Allaah can carry it for you, just wait and see, in the mean while, do something about it!.

احرص على ما ينفعك

"المؤمن القوي خير وأحب إلي الله من المؤمن الضعيف، وفي كل خير، احرص على ما ينفعك، واستعن بالله ولا تعجِز، ولا تقل لو أني فعلت كذا لكان كذا، ولكن قل: قدر الله وما شاء فعل. فإن (لو) تفتح عمل الشيطان" .صدق رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم

I knew this 7adeeth but fragmented, pieces in different occasions, but never before did i know that all these pieces are from one 7adeeth.

When you get the whole picture, u r speechless amazed of how gr8 it is, encouraging, motivating, positive and proactive. This is how we are supposed to be.

It holds all the meanings of vision, mission, attitude, planning, doing, and going on without regretting, the whole process of success and efficiency!..

Muslims never look back, we always look forward :)

Allahumma salli 3ala Mihammed wa3a Alihi wasa7bhi wasallem tasleeman katheeeeeeeeeeeraa :) <3

Thank you Dina El Etriby :)

ألم نشرح لك صدرك

assalamu 3alikom,

Today, in the taxi, the radio was on, Al Qur2aan channel, it was soorat Al Shar7..

When the Shay5 said: "ألم نشرح لك صدرك" the taxi driver said: "3alihi assalatu wassalaaam" :)

I was like WOW!!, bgd for my first time i notice this, sayyedna Muhammad was mentioned and we are supposed to say "Salla Allahu 3alihi wassalaam"..

I liked it, and i felt tat i had a great lesson :) :).. isAllaah i will always say salla Allahu 3alihi wassalam when he is mentioned in the Qur2an, not only in our ordinary talk..

Jazaka Allahu 5ayraan yastaaa :D

الأجر و الفضل

assalamu 3alikom,

I don't know if any of you have heard about Shay5 Ahmad Al Kubaisy, He is from Iraq, and living in Dubai. He is one of my favourite shoyoo5 masha2Allaah 3aleeh fe3laan, rabbena yzeedo 3elm w yg3alo mn el sali7eeen :)

He has a lot of programs explaining the Qur2an words, and why did allaah sub7anahu wata3ala mention this word not that one, why is this word before another in a vrese, and vice versa in a nother.. masha2allaah 3aleeh bgd... and all what you feel while listening to him is Allaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah 2add a rabbena sub7anahu 3azeeem, w 2add a el qur2an baleee3', w 2add a every thing is VERY CLEAR in the Qur2an, but it's our problem that we dont understand Arabic lel asaf..

Sh Ahmed insists that in can NEVER happen that Allaah mentions 2 words in the Qur2an for the same meaning, each word has a stand alone meaning that can never be decsribed by another. and you find that clearly masha2Allaah when he explains the verses, and u just keep saying Sub7ana Allaaah :)

One of the greated lessons was when he spoke about the difference between: Al Ajr, Al fadl, Al Jazaa2, Al thawaab and Al ra7maa.. Fe3laan Aktaar mn ra2e3!!!

I Stronglyyy recommend u to watch the episode, it is raw3a bekoll el maqayees :http://www.elqubessi.mohdy.com/wmplayer.asp?p_path=http://www.islamyaat.com/media/elkalema/wma/e10_h.wma

And if you want to see all the episodes u can check the following link: http://www.elqubessi.mohdy.com/qubessi.aspx?p_name_english=s1 .. i recommend that you start with episode One, the select what ever you wish later..

I hope you enjoy, and i'm sure you will isAllaaah :) :)

Jazahu Allahu 5ayraan :)

و اشكروا لله

Assalamu 3alikom

Have u ever thought of the word "Shokran"(شكراً) why is it "mansoobah"?? - if u know arabic grammer u will know what i mean :D-

let me tell u what i think, regardless if this was correct or wrong..

Allah sub7anahu wata3ala said in the

Qur2aan: "اعْمَلُوا آلَ دَاوُودَ شُكْرًا".. that "shokr is an action u do, a deed, unlike "al7amd" that is just something u say showing that u are greatful to Allaah.. after we eat for example, we say a7lamdulillaah, there is no action that we take

Also Allah said:"و اشكروا لله".. lillaah, not "oshkoro Allah" ( ya3ny fi3l didecated lillaah).. make a deed with the intention that this 3amal is shokr lillaah..

back to the first point, the word "Shokran": why is is mansooba?? I dont know a percise answer to be honest. but here is what i concluded :D :

shokran is "maf3ool li2ajlih".. let's say: a3taytuka al maa2a shokran (i gave u the water thanking).. so i made this action because i wanted to thank u.. so this lead us that, it is not "gramatically" correct, that someone makes u a favour and u reply saying: "Shokran".. howwa a elly shokraan.. feen el "maf3ool" li2ajl el shokr ?!!!

So it is more "gramatically" correct that when someone makes u a favour, u show up after few days, carrying flowers for example, and hand him saying: "Shokran".. so you will be saying implicitly: "I'm giving u the flowers "Shokran" for the favour u made for me :) :) "

The hadith of sayyedna Muhammad salla Allahu 3alihi wasallam: (( وَمَنْ صَنَعَ إِليكم معروفا فكافئوه . فإن لم تجدوا ما تكافئوه فادْعُوا له )).. i believe somehow assures the meaning that thanking is something to be done..

Hatha wallaahi a3laam :D

P.S: lw tele3 e3raab kelmet "Shokraan" 7aga tanya.. hab2a baftyy w el post maloosh lazmaa :D.. bas yakfeeny haraf el mo7awlaa :huh .. :P :P

بلى.. و لكن ليطمئن قلبي

assalamu 3alikom,

I was at work, a friend of mine is going to get married soon isAllaah and we were talking about life after marrige.. the conversation led us talking about being grandmothers and having grandchildren.. the girl said: "ana mazonnish enno hayb2a 3andy a7faad.. l2anny 3'alibaan mesh haykoon ma3aya floos agawwez welady :D :D".. and this was supposed to be a joke!

......and here i started :D....

I told her, never ever say this... never assume that u will be in a bad state, w have to know that Allaah is great, Allaah has EVERY thing in hand, "وَإِن مِّن شَيْءٍ إِلاَّ عِندَنَا خَزَائِنُهُ وَمَا نُنَزِّلُهُ إِلاَّ بِقَدَرٍ مَّعْلُومٍ".. ya3ny el 7aga already mawgooda 3and rabbena sub7anahu wata3alaa.. what ever it is, se77aa, awlad, nagaa7, mawadda, salaa7, reda, yaqeen, 7obb, 3arabeyaat, floos, shagaar, ba7r, safar, hiking, diving,... ayy 7agaaaaa is already there, el fekra bas enn rabbena nazzel menha "biqadarin ma3loom".. so ask Allaah from what he has "fooo2" 3ando mesh from el "qadr" el so3'ayyaar elly "ta7t" 3andena!!

Allaah sub7anahu wata3ala is qader.. do u know ya3ny a qader!! la2 mesh qader bas, da rabbena qadeeeer.. he can do anything, ANYTHING, can u imagine what can anything be!! what ever comes to your mind, Allaah CAN DO IT! sub7anahu wata3ala..

w 3azamet qodret Allaah sub7anahu wata3alaa is actually in being able to do the unexpected, to give u more that u could imagine, to bless u in a way that u coud never think of!

This is yaqeen what we are talking here about.. the deeeeeeeeeeep feeeling that is there deep inside the heart that Allaah is there, that he hears u all the time, enny koll makallemo bysma3ny, mesh lamma bad3y, la2 lamma batkallem, and Allaah can give me anything 3ashan ba7ebbo w howwa by7ebbenyy.. we dont question the how at all...

Having yaqeen means that u know that Allaah "will" do it, no "how".. look at sayyedna Ibrahim 3alihi al salaam, when he asked Allaah:"أَرِنِي كَيْفَ تُحْيِي الْمَوْتَى".. the answer was: "أَوَلَمْ تُؤْمِن!".. what does this answer tell us!!.. if we have this deep feeeling of Imaan, we wont ask about the "how", the how is beyond our calculations, it's something 3azeeem yaleeq b-3azamet Allaah sub7anahu wata3alaa "wa7dah"..

When sayyedna Ibrahim replied" بَلَى وَلَكِن لِّيَطْمَئِنَّ قَلْبِي ".. Allaah didnt answer bardo, sub7anahu wata3alaa.. he made him do a great effort, ydba7 w y2atta3 w ytla3 w ynzel w ywazza3.. where is the answer here?! none!... w bardo rabbena a7yaa el toyoor without showing him how he sub7anahu did it, he just showed him "يَأْتِينَكَ سَعْيًا"

Allaah made him realize that if u question the how, hatet3ab, that' why we all are as we are: ta3baneen!.. it's like a message for us to get busy with the asbaab only, get busy with the "what" and leave the "how" for the Allaah with the greatest trust that Allaah "can" and "will" do it, it' a great relief that i can never discribe :).. 7aga foo2 el wasf, e7saas aktaar mn wow :) :)

It is a great bless that we have a god who is "qadeer", bgd it is a great bless, just imagine that life is life, and what happen in life is only the logical flow of things that we assume, and that u know that ur god can "not" do things except as expected!! will u trust him!!, will u ask him or make du3aa2 in the first place!!!.. sub7ana Allaah wata3ala 3olowwan kabeera..

Dear Allaah, thank you for being you, thank you for being our god, thank you for being qadeer not only qader, thank u for making us realize that, and thank u for making us thank u for it :) :)

fe3lan, wama qadaro Allaha 7aqqa qadrih!

I jut remembered now my grand mother, whenever she wants anything from Allaah, she get a paper and a pen and she writes down what she wants starting with : يا ربي يا ربي يا... سامع الدُعا و دُعايا, أنا بطلب من الله ولا يكتر على الله....then she writes what she wants :)

"The Good News"

assalamu 3alikom...

I've recieved an email message today with this title, i liked it, so i thought of sharing :)

Dear Noha,

I'm writing today to check in with you and to ask you to check in with yourself. How have you been feeling lately? Are you feeling good? Are you happy? Or (like so many people), are you living in fear and worried about your future? There's no need to sugar coat it; we are living in an interesting time ... a time of immense uncertainty for many people.

Several years ago I made a decision to stop watching the news and to not read the newspaper. I just refused to fill my brain with a lot of negativity. Honestly, I watch about 10 minutes of news a week just to get a feel for what's being put out there. And unless I just happen to tune in during the 10 minutes of 'bad news' being broadcast, I am guessing a constant barrage of negativity is coming out of that television.

I know you know the importance of filling your mind with positive information. The more you focus on what is good, the more good you will have in your life.

Remember, it is your choice how you feel. You can choose to be happy and abundant. You can also choose to be in fear and pessimistic. The truth is that it is easy to get sucked into the collective negativity of today's world -- so it is imperative to fill your cup with as much good stuff as possible!

I am honored to support you in any way I can. As always, I am committed to your happiness.

Rich.

It is true that the message is an auto generated message, sent to me by "Rich German" to all those who subscribed in his website.. but i felt some thing when reading it, i also remembered "The Closet Theory ", Dad's theory, that i may talk about later :)

yes, this man talks right, how we feel is our choice..

Choose to be happy :)

It's been 2 weeks!!

assalamu 3alikom,

Dear Zainab,

How are you now?? :) I've been praying for you a lot since you left :'), 2 weeks!! do you believe it!!.. I wonder what are you doing now??I pray that you are not lonely :').. maybe no much ppl are out there.. but i pray that u are having "2ons billaah" :') and your grave is part from al jannaah yaa raaab

Zeezi.. i miss u sooo much :'(.. every time i feel like calling you i remember that you wont pick up .. but i really wanna talk to u :'(

Zeezi, i know u always wanted to know about me, i'm fine ya 7abeeeba :'), it's just that i miss you :'(.. and i remember you a lot...

I wish I can remember every single detail, and every single word, but i just cant :'(.. i remember things from time to time..  i wish that i've recorded every second with you.

Zeezi, I learnt alot from your death.. you can say that i have changed.. or -to be more accurate- woke up... i realize things differently, i now understand things that you used to tell me more clearly..

i'm focusing more on what i have in hand now, i can see the bless ya zeezi, ana rabbenaa ma3ayaa 3ala tool, w mesh bysebny abadan,.. i see it ya 7abibty and i feel it all the time.. rabbena byar3any even when i dont ask him for it :').. al7amdulillaaah :')..

my heart changed ya zeezi, it's not like b4, this was even b4 u died, but it increased, and the meanings i had in things changed too :').. al7amdulillaaah, i feel more free and happy :')..

I wish you were here to tell you as i always used to do :'(.. al7amdulillaah, i cant be that selfish, i know that u have a better company isAllaaah :')

Zeezi, today in the cab, the radio was on, it was that cancer hospital campaign, 57357, i couldnt hear it ya zeezi, i just cried... i hate cancer, i really wish that no one else ever suffers from it.. Allahumma 3afina wa3fu 3annaa yaa raaab.. i know u suffered a lot... may Allaah bless u now and reward you for the great patience you had :')

Zeezi, I call Magdy from time to time, he misses u a lot ya zeezi, really a lot, and he is trying to do his best not to make your kids feel lonely... may Allah be with him.. pray for him.. rabbena ysabbaro :'(

I'll try to be there for your kids from time to time..isAllaah i'll do my best..

He said to me: "eftekry kalamha leeki ya Noha, ana mesh ha2ollik ennaha kanet bet7ebbik, l2annik konty belnesbalha 7aga tanya, enty mesh 3arfa kanet bet7ebbik ezzaay w konty bel nesbalha a!! Allaaah yer7amha, w y3ezz 3alayya enny 2a2ool Allaah yr7amha :(.. bas al7amdulillaah 3ala koll shee2".. I just wanted to tell you the same about u :')

Rabbena ya3fu 3annik ya zeezi w yg3alik fee a3laa 3elleyyeen, w yg3alik fel ferdaws el a3laa, w y7a22alik elly kan nefsik feeh :')...

Whenever i miss you, i dont know what to do, but one thing i'm sure of that i pray for you :'), i know u need prayers, and you always asked me for them...

you know ya zeezi!!, every time in sujood i say: yaa raab eshfy Mrs. Zainab..!!... then i remember :| .. and i correct it asking Allaah to reward you with Jannaaah.. It's just not that simple to get used to the fact of ur death.. but I manage wal7amdulillaaah.

I miss you LOADs.. and please, if u can, pray for me

Rabbena y7ebbik ya zeezi :')

2anti 7abeeba 7abeeba, wa min qalby qareebah :') .. love you :')

2ata3ty leeh! kan nefsaha tshoofik

Dear Zainab,

Today i was in the LAST place i would ever wanted to be in, i was in Rab3aa, ba3azzy feeki :'(.. the dearest, :'(.. enna lillaahi wa 2inna elayhi raj3ooon..

I just can't imagine that u left :| :'(, i can't believe it :| :| :| :|.. i miss u soooooooooo much already.. rabbena y-7ebbik, i know this was all what you wanted in life..

I always wanted to tell you that u are a bless, i didnt, i know it's late, but u are, u were!, u were a bless, and i'm sure i'll never ever forget u :'(

A week ago, I wrote u an SMS telling you that i miss u and i ended it with "Rabbena y7ebbik", but i kept it a draft, i didnt send it...I regret not sending it to u :'( .. i donno if you can hear me saying it.. but i miss u ya zeezi and i love u a lot :'(... if the time can come back, i would send it to you once i wrote it!

I remember our last call, when i promised to visit u soon, and i didnt.. this soon will never come!!.. forgive me plzzzzz :'(

I never had the chance of thanking u ya zeezi, for every thing.. u loved me in a way that no one ever did, u cared and asked about me even when u were on bed and suffering pain.. u called me when u were not able to speak just to see if i'm happy or not :'), I remember that u loved my smile, and were always happy when i call u, I'm sorry i wont be able to call u anymore :'( ..

I remember ur advices, and prayers, and i cannot forget how u loved Allaah, the Strong yaqeen that u had in Allaah, i never saw anyone like this!!.. I remember how patient u were, i remember ur intentions that u had when u got pregnant, i remember what u did when ur baby died, I learned a lot from u ya zeezi, realy A Lot.. i owe u much :'( .. rabbena ya2gorik keteeeeeeeeeeer 3alayyaa yaraaab, w yajzeeki 3anny 5ayr al jazaa2 :').. 

I remember ur Qor2aan lessons, i remember what u used to tell me about my self, i remember ur prayers for me and for my father, i remember ur msgs.... 

I'll never forget the msg that u said: when u ask Allaah for Jannaah, mention me with u, cz i love to be there with u :'( ..

I'm sorry that i knew that u passed away form strangers, i should be there next to u, forgive me ya zeezi..

Today, when i saw Mohammad Magdy fel 3aza he said:"2ata3ty leeh! kan nefsaha tshoofik".. i'm soooooooo sorryyyyyyy :'( :'( , sam7eeen argooooky :'(... i know it's too late.. but i'm really sorry ya zainab.. i wanted to see u more that u could imagine :'( i wanted to hear u prayng for me with ur weak and tired voice, the voice i love :').. forgive me plzzz..

Rabbena ysabbarooo M Magdy yaa raab, u know i love him sooo much ya zeezi.. and i couldnt bear his blame :'( and couldnt bear the word "2ata3ty leeh", nor the word "kan nefsaha tshoofik" :'(.. 

Dont worry abou Magdy, Allaah will look after him and after ur kids too :')

Zeezi, u were the dearest, u "are" the dearest, my heart is broken, and i can't stop crying.. but, "la naqoolo ella mayordy rabbanaa", enna lillaahi wa 2inna elayhi raji3oon :'(..

I want to tell u, cz u are asked now, that Allaah is our God, Muhammaad is our prophet, and Islaam is our religion.. yet, i'm sure that u can see now where u will sit in paradise :').. will I be with u :'( ???, can i ask u to pray for me??.. or is it over like this??????

rabbena ythabbitik 3inda as-su2aal, w yhawwen 3aleeki dammet el qabr, w y3'ferlik w yr7amik, w yg3al qabrik rawda mn el gannaa, w yobdilik daaraan 5ayraan mn darik w ahlaan 5ayraan mn ahlik, w ysabbar ahlik w awlaadik yaaa raaab

 

I hope u'll hear me whenever i talk to u :').. i now u'll be there.. maybe u wont miss me, but i'll miss u :'(

Zeezi, "Rabbena y7ebbik" :')

I'm On My Way

assalamu 3alikom,

I thought of sharing the following lyrics.. I love the spirit, espically that

nowadays I'm thinking and deeply wishing to travel away :) ..

leave u to enjoy :)

Tell everybody I'm on my way
New friends and new places to see
With blue skies ahead, yes I'm on my way
And there's no where else that I'd rather be

Tell everybody I'm on my way
And I'm loving every step I take
With the sun beatin' down, yes I'm on my way
And I can't keep this smile off my face

So tell 'em all I'm on my way
New friends and new places to see

And to sleep under the stars
and could ask for more
With the moon keeping watch over me

Not the snow not the rain can change my mind
The sun will come out, wait and see
And the feeling of the wind in your
face can lift your heart
Oh, there's no where I would rather be

'Cause I'm on my way now
Well and truly
I'm on my way now

I'm on my way now 

Tell everybody I'm on my way
And I just can't wait to be there
With blue skies ahead yes I'm on my way
And nothing but good times to share

So, tell everybody I'm on my way
And I just can't wait to be home
With the sun beating down yes I'm on my way
And nothing but good times to show

I'm on my way
Yes, I'm on my way

(from Brother Bear :) )

Salaaaam

One little slip - chicken little

It was a recipe for disaster
A four-course meal of no-sirree
It seemed that happily ever after
Was happy everyone was after me

It was a cup of good intentions
A tablespoon of one big mess
A dash of overreaction
I assume you know the rest

One little slip
One little slip
It was a fusion of confusion
With a few confounding things

I guess I probably took the wrong direction
Well, I admit I might have missed a sign or two
I ran a light past your affection
At Humiliation Avenue

I took a right turn at confusion
A left when I should have gone straight on through
I ran ahead with my assumptions
And we all know what that can do

One little slip
One little slip
It was a fusion of confusion
With a few confounding things

I get the feeling in this town
I'll never live ‘til I live down
The one mistake that seems to follow me around
They'll forget about the sky when they all realize
This guy's about to try to learn to fly or hit the ground

It was a cup of good intentions
A tablespoon of one big mess
A dash of overreaction
And I assume you know the rest

One little slip
One little slip
It was a humble little stumble
With a big ungraceful...

One little slip
One little slip
It was a fusion of confusion
With a few confounding things

Here

Lay Down the Burden..

The professor began his class by holding up a glass of water in his hand. He held it up for all to see and then asked the students:

"How much do you think this glass weighs?"

"50gms!" 

..."100gms!" 

..."125gms", the students answered.

"We don't know for sure unless we weigh it," said the professor, "but, my real question is: What would happen if I held this glass up like this for a few minutes?"

"Nothing" ...the students said.

"Ok, what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?" the professor
asked.

"Your arm would begin to ache" said one of the student

"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?"

"Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress, paralysis and
will have to go to hospital for sure!"... ventured another student.

All the students laughed.

"Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?"
asked the professor.

"No" ... was the answer.

"Well, then what caused the arm to ache and the severe muscle stress?"

The students were puzzled.

"Okay. Tell me what should I do now to come out of the pain?" asked professor again.

"Put the glass down!!" said all the students in chorus

"Exactly!" said the professor. 

~~~

Life's problems are something like this.

Hold them for a few minutes in your mind and they seem okay.
Hold of them for a long time and they begin to ache.
Hold them even longer and they begin to paralyze you. 
You feel weak and incapable of doing anything!

--

Special thanks to Youmna Zaki :)
While it's important to think about the challenges in your life, it is even more important to remember to put them down every now and again

Little Afraa :)

Assalamu 3alikom,

I believe i spoke about Afraa (3afraa2), the six years old girl whom i met in KSA last summer on my way to UAE..

Well, this little Bangaly Muslim girl was talking to me about sayyedna Muhammad peace be upon him, she told me a phrase that i will never forget...

She said excitedly: "You know! we went to 3omra we visited "3'aar 7iraa2", i saw the mountain, it's very big, and i saw 7iraa2, i rememberd that sayyeda Jibreel used to get down there to sayyedna Muhammad.. You know! I Love sayyedna Jibreel, i wanted to visit and greet him as i did with sayedna Muhammad -PBUH-,  u think he got down to 3'aar 7iraa2 from the sky that day, as he used to do, to greet me?  Mom said that he does not get down to 3'aar 7iraa2 anymore :( .. I think he knows that i wanted to greet him :) ... You know! I told him "assalamu 3alayk", u think he heard me? I felt he was there :)"

I was really amazed of how this little girl feels towards sayyeda Jibreel, if u just saw her face when she spoke about him! she really wished she could see him, she loves him a lot and sees him a hero, she wanted him to get down from the sky to greet him.. she said that she felt he was there with his large beautiful wings as she said :)

This really touched me :) .. we love Allaah wal7amdulillaah, and sayyeda Muhammad salla Allahu 3alihi wasallam, and feel grateful to him.. but do we have that passion to Jibreel 3alihi assalaam?!.. Allaah loves him, we all know that, he was mentioned several times in Qur2aan.. dad always tell me: u have to know that any thing that was mentioned in Qur2aan, even once, is a very great thing, and there is a secret behind it (dad was mentioning this aboud Ginger :D) .. yet, what about sayyedna Jibreel!!

Allahumma Salli wasallem 3alayh... Al7amdulilaaah, thanks to Allaah then to him that we know the Qur2aan, and we know Allaah, Sub7ana Allaah, he is "2ameeen" to deliver the message as is, and have the patience to teach sayyena Muhammad salla Allahu 3alihi wasallam, and we all owe him A Lot :)

Al7amdulillaaah.. isAllaah one day we will be blessed to see, meet and know him :), and see his beautiful wings :) :)

3alyhi assalaaam :)

إن ربي لسميع الدعاء

assalamu 3alikom,

At work, it was planned that we travel to Qatar to deliver the project we are working on, the travel date was set on 20/1/09, and had been changed to 22/1/09 :), which is tom :)

of course al7amdulillaah i was praying isti5ara about traveling to Qatar, and after that i have been told that i'm chosen to travel.. so al7amdulillaah :)

One day, i went to visit my aunt, where i met her husband -he works also as a da3eya- and i told him that i'm leaving to Qatar soon isAllaah..

Then came his Q: "Who is the "me7rem" who is travelling with u??".. i said: "none, but i'm travelling with refqa ma2moona- el shar3 says: me7rem OR refqa ma2moona".. he said:"Honey, refqa ma2moona if u were 45 years old or smth, now with ur age, u travel only with a me7rem, if u were my daughter, i wont let u travel"...

Well, i didnt know what to say, i was totally convinced that it's not 7araam as we have "refqa ma2moona", and i said to myself: anyways, i'm praying isti5araa, and Allaah will do what's good :)..

Few days later, a friend confirmed the information that "refqa ma2moona" condition applies only if we were 45 years old or more!, and she said: tab3aan 7araaam.. i was :S :S.. Again i thought: i'm praying isti5ara, Allaah will do what is good :)

Then for a second i thought: Wait a min!!!, it's 7araaam, i'm making isti5ara on ma3seyaa!!!!!!!, how stupid!!! i have to refuse travelling with no question!!!

Well, it was too late to refuse, i felt really bad… I may do smth 7araam Only in case I Dont know it's 7araaam.. But doing it intentionally knowing it's 7araam!!, this is not me!!!

What shall i do now!!, i just cant go to my manager and say: Good morning, I’m not traveling cz it's 7araam.. ya salaaaaaaaaam, ommaal wafe2t leeh mn el awwel!!!!!!

i prayed to Allaah and said: ya rabby plz, u know how i really wanted to go, and u know i dont want to do anything 7araam, ya rabby i'm not sure if this is refqa ma2moona or not.. please dont let me choose.. ya rabby, if u are not rady about this trip, plz ya raaby prevent it by anyhow, dont let me choose, i'll be satisfied with whatever u choose for me, just dont let me do smth 7araam, plzzz...

Then, tan tan taaaaaaaaaan, we had a meeting, the manager said: "Let me tell u the latest updates. Every thing is booked, ur tickets and hotel, and money is ready.. yet there is only one thing, Qatar rejected ur visas.. cz Qatar does not accept any visa applications for "Egyptian" or "Philippines" "Females" , only males!!!!!!"...

I felt like : WOOOOWWW :D :D :D, shokraaan ya rabbenaaa awiiiiiiiiiii... al7amdulillaaaaaaah, i didnt have to choose :D.. actually we all believe that there are problems between Qatar and Egypt bcz not allowing the Qatari aids for Gaza, and not attending the Summit in Qatar... But peace :D :D, Hosni Mubarak didnt go to Qatar so that i dont do smth 7araaam :D.. Allaaah really "7allaha" on his own way, on a veryyyy large scale :) :) :) ...al7amduillaaaaah :) :)

Now, a TL of mine has to travel to UK, alone too, i just said: Al7amdulillaahi allathy 3aafana memma ibtala bihi katheeran mn 5alqih :).. it's a bless that Allaah keeps sins away from u :) al7amdulillaaaaah :)

Thanks ya Allaaaah, indeed: enna rabbyy la-samee3-ul Du3aa2 :)

al7amdulillaaah :)

Mai Sbelleng Mestakez :D

assalamu 3alikom,

From time to time i read my old posts, and every time i find horrible spelling mistakes in each post :S .. i find my self writing "thing" instead of "think", "I" instead of "It", "u" instead of "we" or sometimes "y", "how" instead of "who" and vise versa :D, and many many others :D

Well, the first thing that comes to my mind when discovering those mistakes is not how didn't i notice them, but, how could the readers - U- understand what i meant :D

I thank Allaaah that u get me at the end :D, and i Dont promise to improve :D

Thanks for ur patience :D, and i hope that this post is "mistakes free" :D

Salaaam

Killer Whales :)

assalamu 3alikom,

Few days ago i watched a video about killer whales, i really wonder y they call them "Killer", i see they are very cute and adorable, i just love them :)

The whale i was watching was so sweet and lovely.. Looks pretty, and friendly, i felt like: yaaaaaaah, ana nefsy fe whale! :).. i fell in love with them :) :)

I then said: ya rabby, 2orzo2ny 7oot 2ammoor :).. My younger brother said: !!!! enty 3arfa el 7oot da 2add a!!!, hat7otteeh feeen???!!!!!

Then i said: ya rabb 2erzo2ny 7ooot 2ammoor w berkaa :)

He said: !!!!!!! el berka mesh kefayaa 3ala el 7oot??!! el 7oot 3ayez mo7eeet!!

So i said: ya raaab 2erzo2ny 7ooot w mo7eeet :)

He said: !!!! enty 3ayza rabbena yorzo2ik mo7eet ezzaay!!!!!

I said: maho rabbena y2dar... mesh howwa qader! :)

Then he said: !!! enty 3arfa el 7ooot byakoll kam kilo samak fel yoom!!!! enty hat2akkeleeh meneen!!!!!!!

Then my sister said: ma el mo7eeet haykoon feeh samaak keteeer.. malaksh da3wa enta bass :D

Howwa it's impossible to possess an ocean, i Know, and I know that whales are not cats :) i know :)

But i just like asking Allaaah with the smile in the face :), knowing that instead, he sub7anahu wata3alaa will give me an ocean with whales fel gannaa, or build me a palace fel gannaa, or remove a harm that was going to happen to me fel donia :)

It's also wonderful to imagine that i have my own whale :) :)

Wish u whales :) killer ones, cz they are lovely :)

Salaaaam