I hate you, but...

I always believed that no one is perfectly good or totally bad, there are scales that we (humans) vary in between, things happen and we change, we are sometimes good and sometimes not good enough. Even on a situation level we vary, things can be seen from different perspectives, each perspective yields to a different judgement. No judgement is correct, and none is wrong. Generally, a judgement is always correct when referred to the perspective from which a situation has been viewed. So what really matters is: how we see or interpret things.

This taught me also to always excuse people because I never know. I never know why they act in a particular way in a particular situation, I never know how they see things or how things impact them, I never know how it makes them feel, even if in situations that seem so clear and trivial and even if I believe that i do share with them their own perspective, I do not, for sure, understand things the way they do.

All what I mentioned above were things I used to believe in, there were some sort of a principle for me maybe. Unfortunately this was not how I reacted at some point in my life.

Sometimes, it happens that we start having totally negative emotions and thoughts towards someone. Of course this will not happen out of no where. But regardless what had happened to make us feel so, the question is no longer about how much do these people deserve the hatred or anger we have towards them for how bad they were to us, the question now is: "Does it worth to feel that way towards anybody in this whole universe?". The answer is definitely no.

There is peace in this life that we need to experience, gratitude and appreciation. Those meanings need pure hearts to contain them. And those meanings are -as i believe- kind of a short cut for us to reach Allaah's satisfaction which requires "قلب سليم"

There may occur a case where "إلا من أتى الله بقلب سليم" is not fulfilled, when there is a negative thing that is emitted form the heart, this negative thing can be unclear for us to know what it is, but we just have wonders: Why to feel bad towards somebody, feel comfortable to forget them and hate remembering them, dislike hearing their name if mentioned by chance in front of us or hate just the idea that we may see them around somewhere?.

And the wonders go on: Weren't those people one day nice to us, taught us something, shared a smile, gave us a hand, made us a prayer, cheered us up, touched our life, treated us with respect, looked once at us high, gave us a gift or made a tiny good memory one day?

Don't these things need gratitude? If not, then at least, we don't deserve to feel bad towards them, it's our call to let go the memories we hate and keep the respect that those people deserve no matter how we feel about them. Because, the things we believe are bad things, were just a red line drawn to mark a stop sign and an end of a relation progress. But this does not imply that the red line was there to strike out the good image that we had before for those people and replace it with another bad ugly evil one!

Well, good people are good, this fact does not change, they do not convert. Respectful people are respectful, this fact does not change, they do not convert. Nice people are nice, this fact does not change, they do not convert. The only thing that happen is, that not all the good ones get along with the other good ones, but this does not make the other good ones bad, they were just not as good (not in the same way), maybe the difference was not understandable, yet the fact does not change.

We do not forget the bad things, yet we can let go because we also do not forget the good things, and we also can let go, leaving both sides of the equation equal and resulting a neutral charge (neither positive nor negative)

And because we know that Allaah is there, and there will come a day when we will stand in front of him to answer some questions, and because our answers are based on our perspective, and because we believe that there were other perspectives than ours that can be correct, and because we don't know which part of the story does Allaah see us, because the last thing that we will ever want is to find that we was the bad one, and because maybe we are guilty in their' part of the story, because all of that, we should not have any hatred towards anybody, ask Allaah for forgiveness, hope that they do not hate us, and simply "Let Go"!