2ata3ty leeh! kan nefsaha tshoofik

Dear Zainab,

Today i was in the LAST place i would ever wanted to be in, i was in Rab3aa, ba3azzy feeki :'(.. the dearest, :'(.. enna lillaahi wa 2inna elayhi raj3ooon..

I just can't imagine that u left :| :'(, i can't believe it :| :| :| :|.. i miss u soooooooooo much already.. rabbena y-7ebbik, i know this was all what you wanted in life..

I always wanted to tell you that u are a bless, i didnt, i know it's late, but u are, u were!, u were a bless, and i'm sure i'll never ever forget u :'(

A week ago, I wrote u an SMS telling you that i miss u and i ended it with "Rabbena y7ebbik", but i kept it a draft, i didnt send it...I regret not sending it to u :'( .. i donno if you can hear me saying it.. but i miss u ya zeezi and i love u a lot :'(... if the time can come back, i would send it to you once i wrote it!

I remember our last call, when i promised to visit u soon, and i didnt.. this soon will never come!!.. forgive me plzzzzz :'(

I never had the chance of thanking u ya zeezi, for every thing.. u loved me in a way that no one ever did, u cared and asked about me even when u were on bed and suffering pain.. u called me when u were not able to speak just to see if i'm happy or not :'), I remember that u loved my smile, and were always happy when i call u, I'm sorry i wont be able to call u anymore :'( ..

I remember ur advices, and prayers, and i cannot forget how u loved Allaah, the Strong yaqeen that u had in Allaah, i never saw anyone like this!!.. I remember how patient u were, i remember ur intentions that u had when u got pregnant, i remember what u did when ur baby died, I learned a lot from u ya zeezi, realy A Lot.. i owe u much :'( .. rabbena ya2gorik keteeeeeeeeeeer 3alayyaa yaraaab, w yajzeeki 3anny 5ayr al jazaa2 :').. 

I remember ur Qor2aan lessons, i remember what u used to tell me about my self, i remember ur prayers for me and for my father, i remember ur msgs.... 

I'll never forget the msg that u said: when u ask Allaah for Jannaah, mention me with u, cz i love to be there with u :'( ..

I'm sorry that i knew that u passed away form strangers, i should be there next to u, forgive me ya zeezi..

Today, when i saw Mohammad Magdy fel 3aza he said:"2ata3ty leeh! kan nefsaha tshoofik".. i'm soooooooo sorryyyyyyy :'( :'( , sam7eeen argooooky :'(... i know it's too late.. but i'm really sorry ya zainab.. i wanted to see u more that u could imagine :'( i wanted to hear u prayng for me with ur weak and tired voice, the voice i love :').. forgive me plzzz..

Rabbena ysabbarooo M Magdy yaa raab, u know i love him sooo much ya zeezi.. and i couldnt bear his blame :'( and couldnt bear the word "2ata3ty leeh", nor the word "kan nefsaha tshoofik" :'(.. 

Dont worry abou Magdy, Allaah will look after him and after ur kids too :')

Zeezi, u were the dearest, u "are" the dearest, my heart is broken, and i can't stop crying.. but, "la naqoolo ella mayordy rabbanaa", enna lillaahi wa 2inna elayhi raji3oon :'(..

I want to tell u, cz u are asked now, that Allaah is our God, Muhammaad is our prophet, and Islaam is our religion.. yet, i'm sure that u can see now where u will sit in paradise :').. will I be with u :'( ???, can i ask u to pray for me??.. or is it over like this??????

rabbena ythabbitik 3inda as-su2aal, w yhawwen 3aleeki dammet el qabr, w y3'ferlik w yr7amik, w yg3al qabrik rawda mn el gannaa, w yobdilik daaraan 5ayraan mn darik w ahlaan 5ayraan mn ahlik, w ysabbar ahlik w awlaadik yaaa raaab

 

I hope u'll hear me whenever i talk to u :').. i now u'll be there.. maybe u wont miss me, but i'll miss u :'(

Zeezi, "Rabbena y7ebbik" :')