I hate you, but...

I always believed that no one is perfectly good or totally bad, there are scales that we (humans) vary in between, things happen and we change, we are sometimes good and sometimes not good enough. Even on a situation level we vary, things can be seen from different perspectives, each perspective yields to a different judgement. No judgement is correct, and none is wrong. Generally, a judgement is always correct when referred to the perspective from which a situation has been viewed. So what really matters is: how we see or interpret things.

This taught me also to always excuse people because I never know. I never know why they act in a particular way in a particular situation, I never know how they see things or how things impact them, I never know how it makes them feel, even if in situations that seem so clear and trivial and even if I believe that i do share with them their own perspective, I do not, for sure, understand things the way they do.

All what I mentioned above were things I used to believe in, there were some sort of a principle for me maybe. Unfortunately this was not how I reacted at some point in my life.

Sometimes, it happens that we start having totally negative emotions and thoughts towards someone. Of course this will not happen out of no where. But regardless what had happened to make us feel so, the question is no longer about how much do these people deserve the hatred or anger we have towards them for how bad they were to us, the question now is: "Does it worth to feel that way towards anybody in this whole universe?". The answer is definitely no.

There is peace in this life that we need to experience, gratitude and appreciation. Those meanings need pure hearts to contain them. And those meanings are -as i believe- kind of a short cut for us to reach Allaah's satisfaction which requires "قلب سليم"

There may occur a case where "إلا من أتى الله بقلب سليم" is not fulfilled, when there is a negative thing that is emitted form the heart, this negative thing can be unclear for us to know what it is, but we just have wonders: Why to feel bad towards somebody, feel comfortable to forget them and hate remembering them, dislike hearing their name if mentioned by chance in front of us or hate just the idea that we may see them around somewhere?.

And the wonders go on: Weren't those people one day nice to us, taught us something, shared a smile, gave us a hand, made us a prayer, cheered us up, touched our life, treated us with respect, looked once at us high, gave us a gift or made a tiny good memory one day?

Don't these things need gratitude? If not, then at least, we don't deserve to feel bad towards them, it's our call to let go the memories we hate and keep the respect that those people deserve no matter how we feel about them. Because, the things we believe are bad things, were just a red line drawn to mark a stop sign and an end of a relation progress. But this does not imply that the red line was there to strike out the good image that we had before for those people and replace it with another bad ugly evil one!

Well, good people are good, this fact does not change, they do not convert. Respectful people are respectful, this fact does not change, they do not convert. Nice people are nice, this fact does not change, they do not convert. The only thing that happen is, that not all the good ones get along with the other good ones, but this does not make the other good ones bad, they were just not as good (not in the same way), maybe the difference was not understandable, yet the fact does not change.

We do not forget the bad things, yet we can let go because we also do not forget the good things, and we also can let go, leaving both sides of the equation equal and resulting a neutral charge (neither positive nor negative)

And because we know that Allaah is there, and there will come a day when we will stand in front of him to answer some questions, and because our answers are based on our perspective, and because we believe that there were other perspectives than ours that can be correct, and because we don't know which part of the story does Allaah see us, because the last thing that we will ever want is to find that we was the bad one, and because maybe we are guilty in their' part of the story, because all of that, we should not have any hatred towards anybody, ask Allaah for forgiveness, hope that they do not hate us, and simply "Let Go"!

فاستهدوني أهدكم

Assalamu 3alikom,


We hear a lot that when we see some ine in ma3seya, instead of commenting on them or blaming them for doing it, we are supposed to ask for Hidaya for them..

I remember a girl in my college, 3 classes younger, whom whenever i saw i was wondering how she acted like that, how she dressed and how she treated boys.. Once i criticized that so a friend of mine said: Pray for her, ask Allaah to bless her with Hidaya. And i did.

Another girl, i remember i saw her once in the garden chatting with a boy in an unsuitable way, i was about to go and tell them that what they are doing isn't right, but i preferred to stay out of it and also prayed for her.

What i didn't know that these two girls were friends, I knew that when i saw them 2 weeks ago together.

What this whole post about is the place where i saw those girls, i saw them in a Qur2an Center, they were there learning Qur2an and memorizing it.. I was really happy to see them, and also surprised.

I'm not saying at all that they were there because of my du3aa2, of course not, but I really hoped that moment that i have even the tiniest thawaab in this, i tried hard to remember if i was sincere in my prayer or not, Allaahu a3laam, but i really learnt that no matter what, when you pray for someone for hidaya, you have to be sure, very sure, that Allaaah will change those people, don’t just pray hopelessly doubting that these people may one day be good.. this is a great sin as i believe

Sub7ana Allaah, I learnt to always pray for those whom I see in ma3siyaa, with "yaqeen", unlike as i used to do before, praying for them as if: "ya7aaraam.. yallaa.. ahoh.. rabbena yehdeehom!"...

Allaah said: "كذلك كنتم من قبل فمن الله عليكم " and this most of the time is true, even if you were never in the state you saw and this verse do not apply, remember that it is a bless that you have never been like that, and "فمن الله عليكم" part is valid all the time.

I pray that Allaah forgives me for doubting people when asking for Hidaya for them, after all even if you doubt people, we trust Allaaah, and we know that the phrase "فاستهدوني أهدكم" is unconditional and assured.

al7amdulillaah, glad for the two girls, and i wish i took any 7asanaa for that prayer that i once said, and from now on, i will pray with the intention that I gain Hasanaat when Allaah bless a person -whom i sincerely prayed for- with Hidaya